Monday, February 21, 2005


Do I look fat in this uni?

It appears that I should have purchased stock in Jenny Craig before the start of the season, because she is doing one hell of a job on baseball's finest.

Several players are reporting to camp with significant weight loss, most of whom have been implicated in one way or another with steriods.

A few of the suspects of note:

Our own Joe Borowski - Say it ain't so, Joe! In the off season there were mumblings of players heading into the Mexican Leagues and "bulking up." Borowski was a minor league washout, spent some time in the Mexican leagues, and made a triumphant return as a thirty save man with the Boys in Blue. Then, this off season, he managed to drop 15 lbs while rehabbing his shoulder. The implications have been winging around all winter that weight loss = 'roid rage recovery. However, with JoBo I have my doubts. I think his glory days have everything to do with having a hell of a slider, and his weight loss is due almost entirely to laying off the other sliders. He was never exactly a slim fella.

However, that is not true for all...

o-e-o Magglio - Ordonez has also dropped 15 lbs while rehabbing a severe knee problem. Again, I guess he could have lost all of this weight due to not being particularly mobile this winter (although I find weight loss is not usually what I experience when I remain non-ambulatory) but the question for Maggs is: where did all the weight come from. I only saw him play during a few Cross-Towm Classics this year, but he seemed a fine athletic specimen...not bearing an resemblence to the Michelin Man. However, the only "S" word that Maggs has been associated with during his career is "SouthSider" and that is bad enough that he needs no other "S"-words attached to his reputation.

Pudge Rodriguez - Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez has reported to Spring Training a whopping 22 lbs under last year's playing weight. This alone is pretty impressive, but it draws even more attention once one realizes that he is one of the players featured in Jose Canseco's book: "Steroids and me: A Love Story." I don't ever recall Pudge being all that pudgy, and so I'm not entirely sure how one loses 22 lbs of muscle in one winter. I imagine that there might be some rumblings about the Tigers camp this spring.

Finally, I have managed to obtain information from sources close to the Giants that Barry Bonds has also managed to lose an impressive 38 lbs this offseason, all from his head. Here's a shot of him before batting practice. you be the judge.

Is that a "shrunken head" action figure? Where do you get such a thing?
That's a shot from a scene near the end of Beetlejuice.

I agree about JoBo. He may have been juiced, I guess, but it seems a bit silly. It's not like he was blowing people away with his overpowering fastball. It was all about that sweet backdoor slider of his. I think he's just a naturally beefy guy who probably spent a lot of his time in the Mexican League wringing out his uniform.
I can explain the source of confusion. I originally had a shot of an action figure of the shrunken head guy that I culled from the web. I thought it was a little blurry so I editted a still I found on imdb (actually from the beginning of the movie). The jury is still out as to which was better. Maybe the action figure.

Just a little behind-the-scenes action from From the Corner of Grace and Wayne
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