Monday, March 14, 2005


A Break

...from the horror

Negative comment about Prior/Prior's right arm

Negative comment about Wood/Wood's right arm

Hey, how about making stupid comments about stupid headlines!

Tiny Robots used for Cancer Diagnosis

No word yet as to when or if these tiny robots will be sent back in time to kill humanity's savior before that savior is even born. Or if that tiny robot will have an Austrian accent.

Condi Rice to *not* run for President in 2008

Ladies and gentlemen, we officially have the first smart thing Ms. Rice has ever done. Who had March 14th in the pool? Word is had she decided to run, she would have selected here hair as a running mate.

Tiny Robotic Surgery Patient Recovering

Hmm, I wonder how the performed surgery on the tiny robot? Do they use other tiny robots? Once tiny robots can perform surgery on other tiny robots, what hope does humanity have? And if I hear one more time about how great a nanoprobe is for me...well, I'll just scream.

Child Obesity grows faster in Rural Areas

Well, yeah. I mean, if I lived in rural pennsylvania (for example), I'm pretty sure all I would do is eat. The real reason for rural obesity can be explained by this simple flow chart.

Rural Obesity Flow Chart: Town like Windber, PA->Overpowering Boredom->Pot Smoking->Munchies->Fatties

Hey, you can't argue with science.

SpongeBob video going National, American Family Association in a Tizzy

American Family Association continues their long, proud fight again diversity. Let's all hope they keep up the struggle! I mean, what is with all this acceptance of others and promotion of diversity that's been going on lately. I mean, dammit, if the founding fathers wanted all men to be created equal, they should have made some sort of Declaration about it. I mean, next we are just going to get all these immigrant types coming over...stupid tired and huddled masses. In related news, The American Family Association is considering changing its name to The American White Protestant Heterosexual Family Association

I get up early to begin my day's depression by reading your blog about our former pitcher, Prior not to mention good old what's his name and I find this funny upbeat crap!

"And if I hear one more time about how great a nanoprobe is for me...well, I'll just scream."

For me it's the relentlessly upbeat prophecies of "intelligent" toilets that will analyze your . . . deposit and fire off an email to your doctor that you've been eating too much cheese. Who wants a whole generation of shy people crapping in the bushes?

This has nothing to do with the Cubs. Except that, as a description for their upcoming Season of Doom, a crap in the bushes is not the worst metaphor you could pick.
What do they say? A crap in the hand is better than two in the bushes? Strange people come up with this common wisdom stuff. Or monkeys.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?