The headline reads: Woody Allen's fantasy. Frankly, I was terrified to click on the link, fearing that what I would find would be illegal in 49 states (come on Mississippi, get on the ball). Turns out, he just wants to be a tragic poet. I can't say I would want to get into the tragedy industry myself...having to wear black turtlenecks all the time...so much smoking. Seem like a lot of work.

Two out of Three judges are anti-tube. No word yet on whether they recommend Trident.

"American Idol" contestants are getting a second chance. Apparently, the 800 numbers for voting were incorrectly displayed and this lead to some problems. The mis-vote ended with Kerry carrying Ohio's fourth district with Buchanon coming in a distant second. Senator Kerry could not be reached for comment.

Perhaps my favorite headline of all time: Arabs to 'Better market peace plan'. Honestly, I'm very nearly speechless (but not quite). Some of re-marketting plans include:

• Upping number of eagerly awaiting virgins from 80 to 93
• Replacing Osama Bin Laden as spokesperson with more lovable figure
• Renaming "car bomb" lighter, more desirable sounding "martyr maker."

I have to say, though, they are off to a great start calling it a "peace plan" instead of the formerly popular "Rage against the Infidels."

(*note* for the offended: I do realize there is a huge difference between the Arab community and radical Islamic terrorists. But it is funnier this way. Just realize the above is all just a joke and nobody needs to be offended. I have nothing more against Islam than any other religion (which is to say: plenty).