Thursday, March 10, 2005


News, Notes, and the Eternal Struggle of Good vs. Evil

Game Recap

The Cubs played yesterday afternoon and tragically fell to the Texas Rangers by a score of 6-5. Despite this setback, there were plenty of good things to report. Jeromy Burnitz went 2-2 with a couple of RBI's, Todd Walker went 2-3, and Patterson, Barrett, and Hollandsworth all had a hit. Todd Wellemeyer and Eddie Oropesa both threw a shutout inning. As far as bad news, nothing interesting to report (don't look at the previous entry). Nope, nothing to be concerned about. Going to keep my head firmly in the sand.

Who's Eddie Oropesa you might ask, seeing as how he has yet to give up a run this spring. He's a lefty who pitched for San Diego last year, and Arizona before that. During his 4 years of Major League experience, he has complied era's of: 4.74, 10.30, 5.82, and 11.00. That is correct, he has had two separate years of double digit era's. But he's a lefty, so he will always get a chance. Going back through Cubs' spring training history, they have broken camp with Dan Serafini, Danny Young, Ramon Tatis, and Angry Andy Pratt all for one reason: they're lefties. Looking through that list of names, it is one sorry, sorry set of performances. But every team does it; a few good innings of spring training supersedes a career of poor performance and the player breaks camp. My early vote is going in for Crazy Eddie Oropesa.

Prior is going today for the Cubs, in his first start of the spring. A press conference has been scheduled for immediately after the game where Prior will announce that he is, in fact, not injured.


Bush Pushed for Drilling in ANWAR

I'm conflicted on this (not really). On one hand, the completely unbiased American Petroleum Institute tells me that this would give enough oil to sustain us for decades. On the other hand, the complete unbiased Sierra Club tells me it would be less that a years worth of oil and would kill the environment. On someone else's hand (I only have two hands), the President, who has no ties to oil, says that it would have virtually no impact on the environment. I don't know who to believe!!

But then I calm down and realize it doesn't matter. Either one could be right about how much oil it would supply, and it wouldn't matter. Let's say it gives us thirty years of freedom from foreign oil. That is one generation worth. Then, thirty years later, that well has (literally) run dry and Americans are still tooling around in their stupid SUVs sucking up oil at an absurd rate. And guess what! (what?) All that money that could have gone into alternative energy sources was wasted on a short term solution and we are still screwed. Real effin great, George W, well done. And as an added bonus, ANWAR is irreparably damaged. But hey, enjoy your SUV, because surely there is no way that a 12 mile/gallon behemoth could be tied to our dependence on OPEC - the same oil countries that fund terrorist organizations.

In other news...

Dan Rather signs off

In honor of this, some fun What's the Frequency Kenneth? facts. The man who pummelled Rather shouting, "What's the frequency, Kenneth" currently is residing in jail for killing an NBC stage-hand. In case it is not clear, the man was insane and thought that the media was beaming signals into his brain, and that he might be able to block them if only he could figure out the frequency.

R.E.M. wrote a song about this (appropriately titled: "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?") and if you listen carefully, you will note that the song slows down at the end. This is because the Bass player started to experience great pain at the end of the song and slowed down his play. The band, rather than stop, just followed him. It turns out he had to be rushed to the hospital for appendicitis and they never bothered to re-record it.

Bet you didn't know that. And finally, as promised...

Good vs. Evil

"There are two sides to every Schwartz, an up side and a down side." -Dark Helmet

Throughout time, the world has been pulled between two opposing forces, good and evil. Often it is hard to see the difference, but sometimes it is very clear. At the Tevatron at Fermilab there are two main experiments, D-Zero and CDF. Each is equal in its abilities and each is an excellent experiment. But, if you were to have to decide, which would you say is evil? And mind you, I'm not expressing any opinion here, just posing the question. Take a look at the two logos below and decide for yourself, which one of these looks good, and which looks evil. And remember, there is only one correct answer. Cast your vote in the comments section.



D0 is GOOD
Obviously the CDF logo is the evil one. It's easy to prove too.

Look at the letters... C is the third letter of the aphabet and if we
count right to left it is the third letter in CDF.
Add those integers 3+3 = 6
Now take the second letter, D. It is the 4th letter of the alphabet and
the second letter (from either direction) in CDF
Add those integers 4+2 = 6
Finally we have the 6th letter of the alphabet, F. It is first letter
from the right and as such needs no further introduction so we leave it
alone = 6
See? See? What have you got? 6,6,6, the sign of the beast.
I'll expect to see this proof with my name on it on a paper to come out
of Fermilab real soon.

Your Welcome
CDF is evil. There's a silhouette of the Deathstar right in the middle of the logo.

You can't get more evil than that.
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