(what does it mean if you write exclamation point, but also use one? It's stupid, right?)

The Sweet 16 is starting today, and what a sweet 16 it will be. Whole craploads of teams that nobody picked will be dueling against actual good teams in single elimination games, culminating with an entry to the Super-Duper (Elite, you might say) Eight. Let's take a look at the teams playing, and see if there is an mathematically feasible way to salvage my bracket, or if I will have to fill out an application for devine intervention.

Playing Today (my pick in brackets (I probably didn't have to say "in brackets"))
Louisville v. Washington (Louisville)
Illinois v. Wisc.-Mill (Illinois)
West Virginia v. Texas Tech (Indiana)
Arizona v. Oklahoma State (Ok St)

and Playing Tomorrow
Michigan State v. Duke (Cubs in 6)
N.C. State v. Wisconsin (Jeremiah was a bullfrog)
Utah v. Kentucky (was a good friend of mine)
North Carolina v. Villanova (UNC)

Sadly, I mostly only have reason to root against popular picks in a hopes of backing into a victory. Odds are slightly against that happening. But I will be heading over to Bernies to have a burger, some brew, and watch many TV's at once. I will be rooting for the Big Ten by default.

Cubs Recap

The Cubs won yesterday 11-6 on an unlikely grand slam from Rick Bell. Who's Rick Bell? I thought you might ask that. He was picked up by the Cubs as a 6 year minor league free agent and is the Grandson of Gud Bell, son of Buddy Bell, and brother of David Bell. In case that does not help, just be assured that these are all actual current or former major league players. Rick, however, got the short end of the genetic stick, and will likely spend the year as minor league filler for the Cubs.

Neifi Perez and Derrek Lee also homered (Lee's homer was apparently quite the blast) for the Cubs. The big news was Angel Guzman getting the start, but he struggled with his command a bit. Those that watched report that he has filthy stuff (great fastball with movement, big curve, unhittable changeup) but that he was getting everything up, and it was getting smacked around some. He could use some more time in the minors, but did receive a great compliment from Maddux, who told Guzman that he would be Maddux's replacement. The rest of the staff pitched well and Wuertz pitched especially well.

The Cubs play today at the usual time (2:05) against Oakland, with Wood taking the mound and hopefully he will be leaving the inflammation in the dugout.

--Oh wait, wait no. Wood will, in fact, not be starting today because he woke up with a stiff back. Are you freaking kidding me?!? He does plan to pitch again at some point, right? I guess he might pitch a simulated game tomorrow, but unless he plans to simulate the season, he is going to have to pitch to real batters. It is getting real hard to be a Wood apologist. (cue Scott's comment)

Alright, enough sports...

More.

In an act of sheer stupidity, "The Office" on NBC premieres tonight. Either NBC doesn't believe that The Office will succeed, or they just weren't thinking things through. Why would you send a show that, judging from the previews (I have never seen the British version), is marketed primarily toward young to middle aged men up against the NCAA tournament. It just doesn't make sense. I for one will be missing the premier because of basketball, and I find that pretty annoying. Stupid, stupid, stupid. That being said, how awesome is it that Daily Show Alum Steve Carell will be getting his own show (answer: pretty damn awesome).

Protesters stormed the Kyrgyz government offices demanding the resignation of president Askar Akayev. He was accused of many transgressions, not the least of which was hoarding all of the nation's vowels for his name.

In a story that made me pee a drop it was so funny (well, funny to me), Roger Clemen's Hummer was stolen. He received this Hummer from the Yankees for his 300th win. Some of the best parts of this story: His son left the doors unlocked after driving it to school (hell of a gene pool there, Roger), Clemens was offering a $10,000 reward for its "safe return", and his son was driving this orange Hummer instead of the crappy old black one because it matched his school colors. So, just to recap, Roger Clemens was offering $10,000 for a Hummer. Earlier in the season, Denny Neagle was released from the Colorado Rockies for paying 40 bucks for a hummer - just such an unfair double standard.

Ahhh, it's funny when bad things happen to Roger Clemens.

(I apologize in advance for posting this)

Human finger found in Wendy's Chili. (*vomits*) Nothing much to report here except that the finger was actually inside the person's mouth before they spit it out. (a bit more vomit, this time just in my mouth) Wendy's, of course, is the third largest hamburger chain. Wait, no, now fourth. Wait, fifth...sixth...seventh...just passed "Burger Delights"...eighth and still falling. I'm glad Dave Thomas isn't alive to see this.