Wednesday, April 06, 2005


Heaven sent

Driving home yesterday, I noticed a Mercedes in the lane next to me with a bumper sticker on it (already a near-mortal sin) that read: "Yes Lord, We will ride with you!" Now, I have no problem with religion (actually I do, but that is not the point), but this sticker strikes me as somewhat insulting. To God, I mean. What we have here is an omnipotent being that sees all and knows all, created the heaven and earth, and formed man out of dust. And he needs a bumper sticker to inform him that you will not hesitate to ride with him, should he offer. And what does "ride with you" mean, anyway? No doubt, if anyone can pimp a ride it would be God (we've already covered the omnipotent part), but isn't he a heavenly creature with no need for a "ride." Once again, insult to God. That's two strikes; one more and Johnny-Mercedes is going to be taking the chute rather than the ladder into the afterlife (if you thought I wrote "shoot" rather than "chute" before and just now corrected it, well...shut up)

The bumper stiker I do understand is the "In case of Rapture, this vehicle will be unoccupied." You see, that sticker is for my benifit, not God's and I'm pretty damn sure that, should the Rapture be upon us, I'll still be firmly in my car while the Four Horsemen (goatmen?) buzz around outside my window.

Speaking of the Apocalypse, don't forget to check out the Goat Riders. Predictions are posted and a place for readers to submit their own predictions. Rapturous fun for the whole family (the ones that can read anyway).

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