Cruisin' the newsin'

"Idol" fans shocked by rocker's ousting

Well, if they are so shocked, maybe they should have VOTED FOR HIM. Jeebus, if you don't want the guy voted off, maybe don't cast a vote for the other guy who sings Celine Dion. Wait, wait...I think that needs its own sentence. A guy sang a Celine Dion song. And not only was he not executed, but a bunch of idiot 13 year olds (and very sad 30 year olds) voted for him. Now, I've not seen either sing, and I'm sure they're both lovely, but nothing changes the fact that a man should not sing Celine Dion. Check that, a person should not sing Celine Dion. I'm going to go ahead and erase all memory of this and think about something happy (*thinks about Derrek Lee's .430 average*).

Nuclear Fusion created in lab

Nuclear fusion, the future of energy on earth (you know, other than drilling for more oil in Alaska), was successfully, um, fused in a lab at UCLA. Now, don't get too excited, because it still takes more energy to fuse the...stuff than one gets out from fusing the thingies, but it is still a great advance in fusion science. And the uses are nearly endless. I mean, sort of endless. That is...uh, it can be possibly used in the future for both drilling and inspecting luggage. But really, there is no question that the luggage inspection potential is there and shouldn't be ignored. Because there's a lot of luggage. And it has to be inspected. (*cough*) But no really, great break through. Kudos.

Bush plans prime time news conference

He is pretty sure he can fit it in between his trip to Texas and his afternoon nap.

Surrogate mother has quints

Which was quite a suprise for her as she was expecting babies. But seriously, that's kind of gross. Having an entire litter of squirming babies - newborns are usually pretty gross (they look like wet burritos) - is not my idea of a good time. I think if I was a surrogate mother (and I don't really see that happening anytime soon) I would set an upper limit on the number of babies I was willing to store in my uterus. Maybe three. There is no need to ever have more than three babies.

Okay, that's all the news that's fit to report. No Cub game today, but if you want a baseball fix, head over to goatriders.org where the brilliant and handsome Famine has a report on all things Cubs (well, most things Cubs, anyway).