Monday, May 09, 2005


Hello, hello, there anybody out there?

Just nod if you can hear me. (don't really nod, I can't actually see you and you will just look like an idiot)

Now that my rather pointless musical reference has put us all in the mood, I can finally get to writing. With my legion of loyal fans dwindling (which is probably better than what they normally do), I thought that it might be a good idea to finally write something to attempt to reclaim my title of "King of all Media" (I'm pretty sure that's what everyone calls me. King of something, anyway). Anyway, I'm pretty sure I've started to babble again. The point is I'm back to writing again. I was sick last week, the Cubs were losing, and none of that made me want to write but I'm better now and so are the let's get on with it already.

Cubs Win

I think the heading above says it all (Cubs win). When you really, really need a win, you call on Carlos. Carlos is also the guy to call when you need to move a wagon, because he is clearly strong as an ox (or so everyone says). Hopefully this proves to be true. He threw many pitches yesterday and we all have to hope that he recovers nicely from his extended stay on the mound and feels no ill-effects. Just to be clear, I don't think the 130+ pitches he threw yesterday were out of line - that was a must win game. There was no way that anyone in the bullpen had better potential to close that game out than Z, especially since he was still chucking it at 96+ mph. Just a super-duper performance by Big Z.

Cubs' Closer

Maybe I should just get a rotating banner that cycles though all the names in the bullpen. Apparently, today the closer will be Dempster. He is very excited by this and thinks he has the mentality for the role. My personal favorite mentality for the role? The "I'm not going to give up an runs" mentality. Dempster claims that walking people doesn't bother him and that shows he will be solid in the role. I don't follow the logic. Oh well, good luck Dempster and hurry back Borowski.

Cubs' Starter

The starter today will be Jon Leicester which should make the closer discussion a moot point. Because, you see, a closer is only really important when one has a lead (and those type of insights are why you've all come to this site). I'm sort of hoping for rain so that we don't have to use Leicester in a role he has not excelled at this year (pitching) and can move right on to Maddux. Then again, I still have to ride my bike home today, so maybe the rain can hold off. Either way, someone is going to have to suffer - better him than me.

Cubs' Rookie

It looks like Jason DuBois is finally going to get his shot. The Cubs have officially stated that they are sending Holly to the bench, and DuBois into the starting lineup. I'm not exactly sure how this will work out (it will work out well), but DuBois can't do any worse than Hollandsworth's .220 BA and no power. He should hit pretty decently, field pretty poorly, and run pretty slowly and all these will add up to an average outfielder...and that will be nice. DuBois is Free!!

Cub Scout

Sorry, I got carried away. Ignore this section.

Reason for Hope

There is a definite reason for optimism (which only the lucky few that read the whole entry get to experience) going into today's game. While I was riding the el a few days back, I noticed a hard-water stain in the form of a Star-Belly'd Sneetch.

I think we are all on the same page here...this is no coincidence. Hard-water stains don't just "happen" to look like lovable Dr. Seuss characters. This, my friends, is a miracle. It took me awhile to figure out the exact meaning of this miracle. How did this apply to my life? Did it mean that I should look to get a Star on my belly? (that would be so sweet)

But then it all became clear to me. Dr. Seuss's real name is Theodore Seuss Geisel. Theodore is the first name of the GM for Boston. Boston won the World Series last year. And the rest is obvious. Clearly this miracle was put there to re-affirm my faith (and all of our faith) in the Cubs. Oh, the Goat has challenged our faith recently, no doubt. But we must hold strong. This is the year, and the proof is before us. You just have to have faith.

Someone get me a candle and a goat...I'm building me a shrine.

So how does a hardwater stain of Theo Epstein help us out again?

You lost me with your magnificently linear logic!

Clearly you are not one of the faithful. The answer you seek will become clear when you form a deep, personal relationship with Dusty. You know, like the one Macias has.

I do agree that my logic is magnificent. I really am quite brilliant. Now that's I'm a member of the fold I have to try and be humble, though, so forget with I said. Even if it's true.
You said "extended stay". Don't.

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