Tuesday, June 21, 2005


When is a train not a train?

When it's ajar!

Waaaaaaaaaaahahahaaaahaha...wait. Wait, no, that's not right. Actually, the correct answer appears to be "when it's a school bus."

Yesterday afternoon, the line connecting Wheaton to Chicago was swarmed by members of the teenage race or, as I like to call it, the missing link. Forget the seven-million year old Lucy, the evidence points to ages 13-19. Think about it; grammar based language has been replaced by a series of grunts and squeals and their purpose in life has been reduced to finding a mate and foraging for food.

College, while often thought of as an institute for higher learning, actually serves as an uber-monolith - sort of a crash course in evolution. After 4 years of exposure to the monolith, the majority of the evolutionarily-challenged are returned to the human race like so many lost puppies, going forth into society fully formed (the rest are shielded from this process by what's know as "The Greek System.").

But enough philosiphizing about the jagged path through life. The real question is: at what point did I get old enough to even consider writing this? Kids take over the upper level of the Metra and I want to bang on the drop ceiling yelling the obligatory "quiet you kids!" ...that can't be good. At almost 26, am I closer to the cranky old carnival owner having my ghost-mask pulled off than I am to the plucky young sleuths tooling around in the Mystery Machine? I'm just putting this out there: If you ever hear me utter the phrase: "And it would have worked too, if not for you meddling kids" well, you can go ahead and pull my feeding tube.

Alright, so I'm probably not actually on my way out just yet. There are a couple points in my favor:
Most importantly, though, we have to remember that teenagers are put on this earth for the sole purpose of annoyance. Everyone (age 20 or older) on that train was thinking the same things, I just happened to have pen and paper handy to put it all down.


I hope.

Current Marathon Training Status: I think I just threw up.

...um, I guess I'll call that orange

>>Current Marathon Training Status: I think I just threw up. ...um, I guess I'll call that orange


My geezer moment was walking behind some teenager and thinking "Pull up your damn pants!!" And yeah, I think that was also mid-20s.
You know you're getting up there when 10pm seems really late...
Wait, you can stay up all the way until 10? At night? You are my hero.
when is a train not a train? when it's the cubs bullpen! ahem... get it? it's a former train. yeah. a train wreck. get it?
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