Tuesday, June 07, 2005


You'd be tired too

...if you just came off a West coast swing and then had to play the next day. Hey guys, how about a day off, already?

On the plus side, the Cubs may have lost, but at least they are still atop the Wild Card standings. This may end up being important as St. Louis is kind of a lot awesome (yes, I just said that).

Today is a day to reset and get the bats going again. Glendon is going today for the Cubs and that can only mean good things (unless they lose, in which case it would mean bad things).

Some news and notes to start the day:

jamierieger.com has a new post up today, a short story regarding those halcyon days when the toys were violent and we liked it, we loved it! (well, they loved it. I didn't exist yet). It is a quick read and quite good, probably especially for those over 30. An excerpt:

The Courageous Toys of the Carter Era

Star Wars perfectly encapsulated the mood and spirit of the American people in the late 1970s. Confident, cocky, bold, brash, moving fearlessly from challenge to challenge-we took risks in Jimmy Carter's America. We africanized bees, turned corn into gasoline, made John Travolta a star. We bought thirty-year savings bonds in a hyper-inflationary environment. We were cowboys in space.

Scientists put smack down on Bush

The British Royal Queen Mary...something...Scientists of the Royal Brigade in England called Bush out on his policy on climate change, calling it "misguided." Oh those British, always so polite. The correct word is "stupid." Stoooopid. Every serious scientist concedes that the greenhouse effect is a real thing (unless maybe it's one of those "theories" like "evolution" or "gravity"). I mean, it isn't that hard to figure out; there is data! But, I guess when you are the conduit from which an invisible (and, from what I hear, all powerful) being speaks, you don't need to listen to "facts" or "data." You create your own reality. Stupid reality based community. What do we know?

Oh, and in completely unrelated news, Hummer is releasing the new H3 (now cheaper, so everyone can own a military-grade vehicle) and now I see commercials for how the new GMC 9 passenger BigAss (or something to that effect) is absolutely essential for every family, regardless of size...that is, if you love your children. And I can totally relate, because back in the days of cars with backseats, there were times when my brother would spill over onto my side of the car (my personal space, dammit) and I kept thinking to myself: "If only this car had the capacity for 5 more people, I could divert my attention from how annoyed I am with my brother towards loving my country." Now that the personal space problem has been solved we are surely seeing a spike in patriotism. Or some kind of "ism", anyway. Wait, maybe I've stopped making sense. Anyway...

I could go on, but it's just too easy. There's only, what? Three more years of this guy? I suppose to ice caps will hold until a sane individual rules the White House.

I'm not holding my breath on the ice caps.
But, seriously, this guy got elected? TWICE?
That just ain't right.

Looks like it's going to be a throw-down between Hillary and Dean in 2008. But where does that leave Edwards and (whisper) Al Gore?
Maybe Hillary and Howard will join forces and run as co-presidents. I could totally get behind that.

Why can't we be like England and call for an election whenever we damn well choose?
I'm also not going to hold my breath on the ice caps because I can only hold my breath for about a minute and a half. But they have been breaking up more than usual in the summers. And the seas levels are rising.

The answer to your question is simple: If we run our government like England then we also have to drive on the left side of the road and refer to our pants as "knickers," neither of which I find acceptable.
Jamie Rieger is the blog comedy genius god of our time.
But just think of all of the kidney pie we would be eating!!
Geez, thanks!

Also blood pudding.
mmmmm. blood pudding.
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