Wednesday, July 27, 2005


It may not be a winning tradition, but it's the next best thing. It's...

Last time on Fermiball...

When last we joined the d0nuts, it was a time of glorious celebration as our intrepid heroes vanquished the Lightening Rods. Your's truly had a solid, albeit hitless, game and there was much rejoicing (wee).

Next time on Fermiball...

The d0nuts take on their third (or maybe fourth) biggest rivals, Final Force, in what is sure to be a classic. An instant classic, actually. It is entirely possible that ESPN will show up but they have, as yet, not responded to my letters. Well, that's not entirely true, as my Stuart Scott Fan Club membership card arrived (Boo yah!). Nothing related to Fermiball though.

anyway, enough stalling. This time on Fermiball...

Tensions are at an all time high as the d0nuts face off against long time rivals The Isotopes. Those evil, evil Isotopes. Nasty, teeth-gnashing, devil horned Isotopes of CDF. Just bad, bad, nasty evil.

Actually, they aren't that bad.

To be honest, they're rather nice. But this is no time for nice, my friends, we are out for blood.

Blood and victory.

But really mostly just victory.

disclaimer: the game in question took place about a month ago and at this point I'm a little hazy on the details. I've been working with a memory specialist in an attempt to reconstruct the events of that night - it involved an injection of some sort and many electrode thingies - all very "Alias," except without the benefit of Jennifer Garner hanging around. Below is what I managed to glean from those sessions.

disclaimer to the disclaimer: At this point I could go with a sort of Simpsons-esque montage where I remember events in a fashion that casts me in a good light. You know, like where I've got long, Fabio hair and huge breasts biceps and women have drapped themselves over me...but that would be lying, and lying makes baby Jesus cry. No, there will be nothing of that sort in this re-telling. Um, anyway, back to the story
In this game, I return to my usual post at third base and my usual position in the lineup (somewhere near the bottom). I'm thinking back to the last time I got a hit...


Anyway, I'm sure things are sure to improve this game. I believe that last time I made a Fermiball post, I mentioned something about closing up my stance. I had been getting more and more open in my stance and I thought that perhaps this was causing me to pull off the ball and ground out to short. And so I did, with definite results. Bad results, but results nonetheless.

I will just summarize my exploits at the plate with ground out, strike out, ground out. Or something like that. I may have lucked into a hit, but I really don't think so. I was, I must admit, rather dreadful at the plate. So, the less this is discussed, the better. Instead I will focus on my improved defense and the fact that it was an excellent game. And the fact that, no matter how badly I hit, I'm still very, very pretty.

*drama time*

The innings flew by in a whirlwind - the really twisty kind. Both teams were on the top of their games and the defense was sparkling. Particularily dry conditions had turned the infield into a sandbox and ground balls were barely making it to the infielders. These conditions particularily suited me at third as I am far more confident coming in to field the ball than waiting back. I like to chose my hop.

The only ball I missed that day was the first I saw, and really that was just a clean single. It went through my legs, mind you, but I scored it a single. After that, though, I picked everything and by the 3rd or 4th inning, I had figured out my throwing problems and was making clean throws to first. I had become the quinticential no-hit/good-glove guy - at least for this game.

But enough about me. I didn't really do anything interesting.

As I mentioned above, the conditions really favored the pitchers. And oh what a pitchers' duel it was! The lead was exchanged between the two teams multiple times, finally resting in the d0nuts hands in the 7th (and theoretically final) inning. The d0nuts lead something like 5-4 in the bottom of the 7th and the Isotopes were up to bat.

Oh the drama! Oh the pressure!

The details are sketchy, but somehow the Isotopes managed to scratch across a run before the final out could be recorded. A frustrating occurance, and one that was threatening our chances of beating the Isotopes. We still had hope, however, as it was onto the 8th. Victory was still within our grasp!

...but we went down 1,2,3.

...and the Isotopes scored in the bottom of the 8th

...and so we lost.


But this was, in many ways, a moral victory. This was the first time all season that the Isotopes had been held below 10 runs. And it demonstrated that we were capable of beating them, something which was not so clear last time we played when they won something like 20-3.

So I'm calling moral victory.

and shotgun.

and no-tag-backs.

What was my point again? Oh yes, tune in next time when...well, you've already read about next time. And really, you should tune in everyday. There's some good stuff here. Read me! Love me!




I love Fermi-ball.
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