Wait! Don't go; hear me out...

What I'm trying to say is, nerds are everywhere. Oh sure, the scientific community is basically the spawning ground for little nerdlings (minus, you know, the spawning part), but we nerds are everywhere. Don't think so? Just check out your local indy-music store some time. And don't be fooled by the Radiohead t-shirt, we are everywhere.

You see, that's the thing. People think you need to wear black socks with shorts or a calculator watch to be a nerd. Now granted, those are big, screaming red flags, but they are hardly requirements for admission to our little club. When it comes down to it, being a nerd is mostly just a matter of being overly enthusiastic about a singular topic, whatever it may be.

Take music, for example. Nothing's cooler than Rock 'n Roll. I know this to be true as otherwise Steven Tyler would never have managed to procreate (come on, you know I'm right). But, despite all this, the music (including rock) community is up to its pierced-nipples in nerds. Case-in-point: I was taking the Metra home after work one day and ended up behind two enormous nerds. Now, it was fairly obvious they were nerds from their appearance - quasi-goth nerds, to be specific. You know, the kind that think wearing a black band t-shirt and black jeans (and black shoes...but white socks, oddly enough), coupled with long/shaggy hair compensates for a certain hidden dork-waddiness. Any question I might have had about the matter was quickly squelched once they opened their mouths.

Fact after fact was vomitted up regarding all things 80's rock. Long hair jabbed with an obscure Smiths reference only to be neatly parried by his partner, Johnny bad-goatee, who deftly noted that the guitarist for the Smiths played back up for...um, I don't know, some random band. Maybe that band that sang Blue Monday? I'm afraid I'm a little out of my depth as I am not a music nerd, nor could I ever be one. The reason, you see, is that if you are going to be a niche-based nerd, that's all you have, because god is it time consuming. Between posting scathing (and lengthy, I might add) retorts on alt.fan.80s-indie against those who actually believe that, get this, Blondie had a higher career peak than the Pixies (feh) and, of course, playing Warcraft...well, there's just not a lot of time for much else.

Now, is this a case of the pot calling the kettle black? Definitely not. I've got far too much white-people guilt to even use the word black. No, you see, I'm no better than all the other nerds (well, I'm a little better, but still..). I am a nerd, no doubt, just a well rounded one. I'm the Mario of nerds. There is no *one thing* that I do that hampers me socially, but my interests definitely lie in the nerdly-realm.

I could recite to you Episodes 4-6 verbatim (how many of you knew I was talking about Star Wars?) and I can wax poetic about Star Trek (both old and next Gen.)...but I usually don't. I know my share of physics and math and have strong opinions about cartoons...but you'll never hear them. Because, I've learned to keep it on the inside when in polite company.

And I think that's the key. When in a social situation, everything in moderation. Embrace being a nerd! Star Trek is good! Captain Kirk is a true leader (and don't you forget it). But always watch for that glazed look that is sure to follow once hour two is reached of your soliloquy on the idyllic nature of Gene Roddenberry's vision (a vision that has us all ending up Socialists...which, you know, may not work out quite as well as he thinks, if history is any indication).

So yes, everything in moderation. Except this piece, which has droned on for far too long. Because, you see, there is a time an place for long-winded, boring, pointless stories and (I'll give you a hint) it ends in .blogspot.com.

******************************UPDATE*******************************************

The Wife thought that it might be appropriate for me to mention that, as I typed this, I was wearing an Empire Strike Back T-shirt. Nothing wrong with that. And it just occured to me that I should also mention, in the interest of full disclosure, that my cell phone looks like it has a Federation Insignia (you know, from Star Trek) on the front of it. But in no way would I ever flip it up and make a beep-beep noise, telling Scotty "Two to beam up." Because, really, that'd be just silly.