Friday, June 23, 2006


Headlines, June 23rd

Okay, I'm still working on a way to use this site for quasi-humorous purposes without taxing my time to too great an extent. My initial idea is to play around with headlines to see if this sparks some creativity. Given that all of 12 people, probably 11 of whom are stopping by completely randomly, are reading this, the pressure to be funny is pretty low. So bear with me as I try to regain a warped perspective on things.

Donor to the 2004 Edwards campaign has been fined.

Okay, I get that the Democratic party isn't at it's best right now. We've (and I use "we" fairly loosely as I have contributed exactly nothing to the political arena, going so far as to quickly shoo away the nice young lady who buzzed my apartment begging for a contribution to the DNC. It's so sad to see them beg, but also a little funny. Alright, mostly funny) been beaten down a bit, true, but I hardly think it's fair to start fining people for contributing to the party. Isn't it bad enough that they already threw their money away without having to pay another fine?

Canada raises age of consent from 14 to 16

14? Really? How very Elizabethan of them. I realize that they genuflect to the Queen Mum up north but I guess I was just confused as to which one they followed.

Soldiers' brutal deaths confirmed to families

Geez, we appreciate the effort, but do they have to use the word "brutal." Here's a bit of advice: when you have to deliver bad news, soften it up a bit.

Rising gas prices fire up bloggers

The bloggers are fired up? I'm not laughing. Really, I'm not.

Why does the term "tilting at windmills" come to mind?

Nude resorts take off gloves in fight for customers

They were wearing gloves?

To this I say: worst. nude beach. ever.

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