Man wins $400K for 10-year implant malfunction

He was, um, "at attention" for over ten years and this turned out to be a rather embarassing situation.

In other words, he got to relive age 12 for the past 10 years, albeit without the risk of being called to the chalkboard to solve math problems.

Sort of Groundhog Day in Hell.

Go someplace different this July Fourth

Well, I'm heading to England. I want to see how the losers celebrate.

USA!

USA!

USA!

Smooth move: Raiders' Moss opens his juice bar

Am I the only one who's shocked to not see Bonds's name attached to this headline?

(although I suppose Palmerio's name could have just as easily been attached to the first headline)

Salmonella chocolate still on shelves

I'm not one to judge, but they should really consider a different name...