Monday, June 26, 2006

 

It's a conspiracy!

The Wife and I headed over to the Gay Pride parade this last weekend and it was pretty awesome. We were only able to stay for half of it as we had to work, but we were there long enough to see lots of boys and very few shirts. Let's just say The Wife had a field day.

And, actually, it all seemed pretty innocent. That is, until I woke up the next day and a series of suspicious events began to unfold.

I take a shower, seeing as how today is a Monday and all, and my very manly Edge shaving gel has run out. I'm faced with two questionable choices: go fuzzy-faced or use The Wife's girly gel. Well, I grow pretty terrible facial hair, so it was definitely time to shave. Really, the choice was not a choice at all and so I lathered up with some pink stuff.

Ah, nice and smooth again. Let the morning ritual continue.

I stepped out of the shower, toweled off, and went to deoderize my self when...Great Scott! My deoderant had run out. My manly Degree Ultra Testoterone-laced deoderant that is so key to my trademark scent. What to do!? My eyes dart over to The Wife's Secret.

No.

But it's strong enough for a man...

But it's made for a woman...

This is when it stuck me. This was too much of a coincidence. For someone as butch as I to have to comtemplate using girl products...this just doesn't happen. And now that I think about it, there was that one flag guy in the Lakeview Gay Marching Band who seemed to give me an extra long glance. Almost...sizing me up. I'd heard that the gays want to convert all the hetros, but I never really believed it. I mean, we all have heard of the homosexual adgenda, but I thought it was a myth. Now...I wonder. Was there a homosexual invasion of my fortress of hetrocity last night? Have I been violated with Raspberry scented gels and Shower Fresh deoderant?

I may never fully know the truth, but there is one thing I know for sure.

I smell fabulous!

Comments:
You should really try the Venus razor. It is actually better than the Mach 3. At least, um, that's what I've heard...
 
How many older brothers do you have, again?

From the Times:

"Scientists in Canada have discovered that the probability of a man being gay rises significantly according to the number of elder brothers he has, when these brothers are born of the same mother."
 
I saw that, but I think I'm safe as it only counts if they are my biological older brothers...which they clearly aren't.
 
Can't post on the goat riders site for some reason, but I thought that you would be interested.

I found a good Matsuzaka site online that is posting very regular updates. If anyone is interested, the url is below. Latest rumor from The Star Telegram is that the Rangers have the high bid. I kinda doubt that though...

http://matsuzaka.blogspot.com/

Archie

doug dot ummel at southwestern dot com
 
I came to visit after your post. But it doesn't seem anyone is around....
 
good conspiracy
Funny Junk
 
HAHAHA! That is hysterical... your feminine side is trying to get in touch with you ;). By the way, when you write new blog posts, go over to BeTheRef.com and post a link to your story, and hopefully get a little extra traffic for your blog.
 
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